July 31
Last Saturday a member of our ministry team died. The formal method of communication was that although our prayer support team should know, and offer prayer support for the family, there should be some respect for the families wishes for privacy, at least until the following Monday.
On Saturday evening my phone rang continually. Our country grapevine was working overtime-organising support, food, music, flowers etc and imparting juicy versions of her final hours. It was a fast, efficient, concerned and well-meaning service. The grapevine is an extremely important in the isolated community where I live where a newspaper would not arrive until the day after the funeral. It was also inaccurate and in your face- when the family had asked for privacy.
For me it would have been better to use the grapevine from the top down to issue an accurate statement, ask for privacy and itemize specific areas where well meaning parishioners could help and feel part of the arrangement. This was not what the family wanted. (169 words)
I agree the grapevine in rural places is very important. The difficulty is sometimes that of privacy. When rang and told something that I know is blatantly incorrect it is a fine balance of maintain the privacy of those concerned and ensuring I don’t continue the chain of misinformation. Having to say I’m not in a position to speak about it can be challenging and on the other side of the conversation they can often draw their own incorrect conclusions. Not easy.
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